New Moon: The Month of November
by Yiva
Summary: Set during New Moon. Edward left and Bella writes a poem about her feelings. Awful summary!


Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing

Song belongs to Miley Cyrus.

This is set during New Moon. After Edward leaves.

"Bella," a distant voice called.

My head snapped to attention as I looked into the big eyes of my friend, Angela Webber. "Huh?" I managed out.

"I asked what you were going to write about for the poetry assignment. Are you…" Angela's voice trailed off as she thought about the past couple months.

I was 18, and alone. HE had left me, and I was losing grip with reality. Was it October? Or November? Did I miss Christmas?

"I don't know. I guess I forgot what the assignment was. What was it? When's it due?" My voice sounded strange to my ears.

"We just have to write a poem or a song and hand it in by Friday. There's no word limit or anything. It's a pretty easy A." Angela explained. She looked a little shocked, like we hadn't talked in…months. We had talked recently, hadn't we?

"Oh. Right. Thanks. Uh, what's the date?" I asked,

"It's Monday, November 10th."

"Oh, huh. I didn't miss Thanksgiving." Angela didn't know whether I was serious or not, so she gave me a small smile.

"The person who writes the best poem wins a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to a restaurant in Port Angels," She continued.

"Oh. Cool." I replied, I was about to continue our conversation when Ben came up to talk to Angela. "I guess I better go… I'll talk to you later, or something. Thanks."

"Bye, Bella." Angela called after me as I hurried to my truck. I knew I was being rude, I guess I hadn't realized how much energy it took to talk to someone. Especially someone who had someone.

Later that night I sat at the desk in my room, I drummed my fingers quietly cursing the Gods over the poetry assignment. I grabbed my phone and dialed Angela's number.

"Hello?"

"Angela?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me. I was wondering if you could come over and look at my poem. Or song, or whatever it is. I really need another opinion.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be right over." Angela agreed.

"Thank you."

Angela was soon over and in my room. She sat on my bed as I wordlessly handed over my notebook paper.

"_I probably shouldn't say this  
But at times I get so scared  
When I think about the previous  
Relationship we shared  
It was awesome but we lost it  
It's not possible for me not to care  
And now we're standing in the rain  
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear  
My dear…"_

As Angela read my writing I thought back to mine and Edward's relationship. I thought we'd be together forever, but…I had hit a rough patch with my writing after the first couple lines. We had so much that we had done, and I realized there were so many things that bothered me about him.

"_The seven things I hate about you  
The seven things I hate about you_

_Oh you  
You're vain, your games  
You're insecure  
_

_You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh  
You make me cry, I don't know which side to buy  
Your friends they're jerks  
When you act like them  
Just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you"_

_  
_I knew I wasn't being objective, but those were some of the things I remembered about him. I really hated his 'friends'. I couldn't believe they would just leave, would listen to him. Alice had to know that, that they were good for me. I didn't understand how they could leave. I just couldn't.

All of those thoughts brought me to my next 'verse.'

_It's awkward and its silent  
As I wait for you to say  
What I need to hear now  
Your sincere apology  
When you mean it I'll believe it  
If you text it I'll delete it  
Let's be clear _

I had thought back to that day in the clearing, how silent it had become. I didn't remember much about that day, except for Sam Uley's voice. "Have you been hurt?" I had. I still was. I couldn't make sense of anything. I still couldn't. I needed him….._  
_

"_Oh, I'm not coming back  
You're taking seven steps here  
The seven things I hate about you  
You're vain, your games  
_

_You're insecure  
You love me, you like her  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
I don't know which side to buy  
Your friends they're jerks  
When you act like them  
Just know it hurts  
I wanna be with the one I know  
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do  
You make me love you…"_

This brought me to the chorus again… He loved me. Or at least he had said he had. Apparently I was too needy for him to actually love me though. I bet he really liked that Tanya I had heard so much about. The thing that seriously and honestly pissed me off the most was the fact that I still loved him. I still needed him. That was unbelievable to me….and he said he was a masochist.

"_And compared to all the great things  
That would take too long to write  
I probably should mention the seven that I like…"_

I almost hadn't put this in, but I figured if I was going to run him through mud, my teacher might as well know the good stuff too. Though, no doubt, everyone knew my story. I had to edit this part, a lot! There was too much that I loved about him. And I wished I didn't.

_The seven things I like about you  
Your hair, your eyes  
Your old Levis  
When we kiss I'm hypnotized  
You make me laugh, you make me cry  
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy  
Your hand in mine  
When we're intertwined  
Everything's alright  
_

_I wanna be with the one I know  
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do  
You make me love you"_

"Bella, that is beautiful. It's about…him, isn't it?" Angela asked nervously.

"Yeah," I sighed, "yeah it is."

"It's really nice, Bella."

"Thank you. Is- am I being stupid?" I asked.

"No. You loved him." Angela said, "I have to go now, but Bella, it is good. It really is."

As I closed the door behind her I whispered, "Love. I love him."

I ran my eyes over the paper. Hopefully this would help ease the pain around my middle, maybe offer me some closure, but I wasn't holding my breath. I stuffed the paper in my bag, and sat on the edge of my bed, and waited for the nightmares to take over.

Okay this is my second draft. It still isn't exactly what I wanted, but it's a lot closer than my first draft.


End file.
